I read the book, Lean In, by Sheryl Sandberg and I felt inspired. She awoke something in me that I can’t explain but I gravitated to the message. You can say what you want about the book but there is one thing you cannot argue: Sheryl put the conversation on the table and open for discussion. From the board room table to the dinner table, Sheryl has made Lean In a household name. In the future, I will write many more blogs and refer back to themes and insights I had reading the book, but today I want to address the one theme that stood out for me more than any: women helping other women.
As a working mom, I have often felt looked down upon by stay-at-home moms. I remember being at social events and when I mentioned that I was traveling for a week on business, I could see the disapproving, dirty looks on some moms’ faces. I would go to school events and moms would come in with homemade pumpkin mini-cakes in beautifully wrapped packaging. I was lucky I had time to stop at the market to bring a gallon of lemonade. I also had a lot of respect for a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom). After having maternity leave, it was clear to me that taking care of a baby, a house and myself were much more complicated than I had ever imagined. In Sheryl’s book she calls for all moms to come together to support each other and that rung so true for me as I never thought of us all on the same team.
Then we have the women in the office. Women are so hard on each other. They can be nitpicky and chatty and their words can cut like a knife. They play games instead of working toward a common goal. Not all women do this but if there is a bad seed in the bunch, it is toxic.
This silent-but-deadly communication begins as early as the school yard; I see this all the time as the mother of a teenage daughter. The competitiveness starts young and in the world of social media. One negative word or image can break a girl at this age and stage. If a boy posted it, we would be knocking on his parent’s door, but if a girl posted it about another girl, we attribute it to girls just being girls.
All these divides…YET we are all the same at the core, women. Women struggling to be the best that we can no matter what our role. How could we allow this to happen? We have so many things in society against us yet we created even more pressure from within our own group.
Hillary Clinton was quoted as saying, “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women”
You have my commitment that I will support all women collectively: the SAHM, working moms, working women without children and school girls. I will empower them to be the best that they can be. It could be a kind word, it could be volunteering or being a mentor. Do what is most natural for you. We together need to help each other and lift each other to the next level — not break each other down.
Imagine how powerful we could be …..if we were empowering all young girls, raising their confidence and teaching our children to do the same…..If SAHMs felt appreciated and supported and working women with and without kids could feel the positive energy of a virtual support team of women. We would be unstoppable.
Buzz-Worthy Lesson: Be a woman who supports other women. Support all women collectively. Make a pledge to start now by signing your name below in the comments. I am committed and I need YOU to be successful. We are all in this together. #LEANIN #WHW
September 28, 2015 at 1:49 pm
I am now and always have been on the side of supporting all women. We are in this life together as daughters, sisters, aunts, mothers, friends, neighbors, colleagues. We can not do it all alone. But together we can do it all. I pledge to continue to be supportive of all women in their individual choices. You only get one life. Make it what you want.
Go Andrea continue to write to inspire, to direct, to lead. I don’t know where you find the time but to me it looks like you do it all. You amaze me girl with your strength and energy.
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September 28, 2015 at 2:15 pm
Andrea- thanks again for yet another inspiring blog. The message here is so important and is true on some many different levels. Finding that when we set this example to our own daughters even in these teenage years they are watching and they do then handle the day to day challenges with the values we are installing In them – thanks for the Monday morning kick off as a continue my job search !! Looking forward to grabbing that book !! Xo
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September 28, 2015 at 2:18 pm
I am loving your blog. You articulate what a lot of us feel as mothers, trying to juggle many things at a time. Sometimes succeeding and sometimes not. Women tend to not be supportive of each other and judge each other without reason. As someone who has been a stay at home mom, a full time student and now a full time employee, I can say that it is all hard. Having a wonderful partner makes it easier, but supportive women can make it even better!
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September 28, 2015 at 3:26 pm
Nice job, Andrea! I can attest to the fact that you practice what you write. I have definitely “leaned in” on you many times, and have always felt supported. These blog posts are more relevant to me now as I intently look for a new job so, thank you for all the inspiration!!!
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September 28, 2015 at 11:05 pm
Andrea,
I love this blog…if all women supported one another we could change the world!! We are ao powerful, especially when we work together! This needs to start when our daughters are little girls! I pledge to build up my fellow women & not participate in tearing them down!! Thanks again for another great read!
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September 29, 2015 at 1:56 pm
Great post! Let’s continue to support other women and teach our daughters to do the same.
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October 1, 2015 at 4:22 am
Great post Andrea!! Great reminder of how we need to support each other. All woman face difficult situations whether it’s at work, in school, family or just life in general. We all go through different stages, no matter where we are we have to support each other. We have to set examples for our children, peers and friends. It’s easy to look the other way but doing the right thing is empowering. I look forward to your blogs. You are a wonderful leader and mentor! I learn so much from you just by being your girl friend!
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October 3, 2015 at 7:19 pm
Thank you all for your comments!! I LOVE hearing from you and couldn’t agree more with what everyone had to say. Luckily to have such great readers 🙂
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October 5, 2015 at 12:49 pm
Andrea, this is such a strong and important message and I know you practice what you are blogging about here. I work with almost exclusively women in the healthcare field and unfortunately it is not always an environment where I feel supported by all of them. You truly hit the nail on the head when you said a bad seed in the bunch can make the environment toxic. It truly breaks my heart at times, but I know the only way to break the cycle is to be supportive and help all the women in my life whether it’s at work or among my family and friends!! Thanks for writing about this, love you!
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